Things Seen and Heard While Mama’s in the Bathroom

It seems that about every time that I go to the bathroom, something happens. So, for a bit of large family humor, I thought we would have a bit of fun today.

Things seen and heard while mama’s in the bathroom.

Things you don’t want to hear:

“Mommy, Heidi has red stuff on her face”-it was dry jello mix (age 18 mos)
“Mommy, I needed to pee, but you were there”
“Mommy there is a man at the door, now he is in the house”-Our bathroom is right by the entry and my dear child opened bathroom door to tell me this.
“Kids what is that noise?” “”Nothing, OH NO!!, Umm, MOMMY, this didn’t go well”
“Mommy, should there be water running out from under the dishwasher?”
“Mommy, Isaiah jumped off the picnic table, and won’t walk”-said as I was running through the house, to find out why the horrible scream, as I heard it over the hair dryer. This ended with a broken leg on Isaiah at the age of 19 mos.
“Mommy, Heidi hurt her arm” -She was jumping off the dining room table and broke her arm a week before her 4th birthday-6 wks before Isaiah broke his leg.
“Mommy, did you know that vinegar and baking soda will explode?”
“Mommy, can we catch the snake in the basement?”
“Mommy, were you cooking something, it smells funny and the kitchen has smoke in it”-I decided to clean the bathroom real quick and forgot I was cooking.
“Betty, did you wash diapers yesterday? Umm, no.”

Things you don’t want to see:

The toilet covered in poo, when you are 9 mos preggy and need to go BAD.
The sink full of some sort of liquid-a science experiment.
The cloth diaper bag full of used cloth diapers with a hole in the bottom of it-no way this is not going to make a MESS.
The child in potty training sitting on the floor with brown smears surrounding him, while he is getting dressed again-Ended in a lot of laundry.
A black thing running out of the closet at you while you are “taking care of business”.

More on that one below:

This is such a word picture that when I woke Brad last night to tell him, he laughed at me for about 20 min at 3 am. So, I get up to go to the bathroom. Sitting the on the throne, when a black thing runs across the room. I am thinking , boy, I am so tired, I am seeing things running around the bathroom floor. At which point it runs OVER my foot. I scream, and then jump up and grab the toilet plunger to catch it. It, is a MOUSE, and any MOUSE in my house is a DEAD mouse. So, I am swinging the toilet plunger around trying to hit the thing so I can leave it for Brad to dispose of. I can’t hit it though. So, I set up 20 glue traps and woke Brad to tell him not to get stuck in one in the morning. He asked why so many. I said because, that mouse will be DEAD by morning. Well, I didn’t catch a mouse, but I have caught 3 children, one husband, a pair of socks and a roll of toilet paper. So, how do I catch this mouse, who DOES NOT belong in this house???