Over the years, I have seen a lot of challenges in the gathering of people in social media, forums, and other such groups. In fact there was a time, I walked away from many of them. Recently, I have walked away from a couple more.
These groups, or many of them, are supposedly to support, and encourage, or to network and build…but… what do I see happening?
People end up doing what we see so often in real life presence… hurt, anger, attacks, under handed attacks, little snips and snipes at each other, and more… Twisting of the typed word is often used. I mean, as I write this, you can’t tell if I am crying,or laughing about all this… other than the fact that this is NO laughing matter. Online attacks are just as bad as bullying in real life.
The thing that is really upsetting is that in the online world, like the in real life world, you rarely hear about the attack against you before others have talked about it and gossiped…then a real friend comes to you saddened, because they know that what you wrote was taken the wrong way.
Isn’t life hard enough with out all that? Why would we want to do that? Why do others enjoy seeing someone in such pain from another’s words? How is this fun? Aren’t these the high school games we were so ready to run from when we graduated? Why is it still happening 10-20 even 30 years later?
If you see something online that bothers you… you need to make a choice, and one you might not like, but you had better be praying over.
- Scroll on past it. Is it really worth hurting someone over? You getting hurt? Your reputation?
- Contact the person who posted it and try to work it out. If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. ~Matthew 18:15
- Pray for the poster and move on. Prayer can move mountains…let God do the work.
- See how you might be able to help, after praying. Send a thinking of you email, card, phone call. Offer chocolate, coffee or tea?
- Assume that the post, status or content was NOT aimed at you.
Things not to do:
- Go gossip about it to anyone.
- Talk to the people the person works with or for without FIRST talking to the person who posted it.
- If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. ~Matthew 18:15
- Assume it is a personal attack on you.
- Post an attack in return, when you aren’t even sure the person was trying to cause a problem.
These are the same steps you should take when it happens in the real life world too.
The type written word is VERY hard to interpret as to how it was actually being said. You really can’t tell if someone is crying, laughing, yelling or what. You can’t tell what the body language is. You can’t see facial expressions.
For instance, June is challenging for me. June is when my dad went into remission from his cancer, Father’s Day is so hard, wheat harvest is hard, not having my hubby around is hard…
My daddy died on my 20th birthday, September 16, nearly 17 years ago. Just 3 short months after he was in remission. My daddy farmed, my hubby farms. My hubby is home very little during our awake hours this time of year. About the time my emotions are on a roller coaster from the loss of my dad and Father’s Day my hubby is gone most awake hours. My health typically crashes around this time of year. I have asthma, and when it gets going, it goes until I crash and end up at the doctor’s begging for a change of meds and a shot that causes all sorts of not so fun effects. My thoughts become scrambled, my words rarely come out like I want them… I try hard to not be a mess for the three months leading up to my daddy’s death, but seriously, I end up living each of his last days with us over and over. My thoughts are normally always scrambled and mixed up. When I post something you don’t know this, unless you are very close and you could likely take offense of a scrambled mixed up emotional mess. I am normally racing around trying to keep up with livestock here at home, and out in our pasture. I have six children I am taking care of, running for parts, gas and other needs for the farm, and trying to stay connected with friends.
See, how someone might post something that I could take offense of…
This year I saw a post about all those whining about their father’s being gone (dead), think about those of us who never had a dad. OUCH for us who are struggling to celebrate and be happy on Father’s Day. Did I say anything? Did I take offense? No, I moved on, prayed for them, and know that they too have a broken aching heart that needs God’s love and comfort. I knew my words would only most likely wound them more. The only reason I mention it here…as an example of how something someone said could be taken wrong. It hurt for me to see it, but I know or assumed that they were hurting too.
That is only an example. There are so many times that I see things that could be taken wrong. However, I try to understand that others have times they are an emotional mess. God made us emotional beings, and most of the time I fully believe that people are not trying to attack one another, but when I see someone attack someone for something posted and they never talk to them about it upsets. me.
We need to use compassion and understanding. Discernment in how we take things. Discernment in how we react to things. We need to always be in prayer and pray over the things we see. When you find yourself upset over something you see, probably best to just move on, because most likely what was written was written in a time of pain, and it is a misunderstanding that will not be fixed by some sort of attack. Pray, and move on. I do it everyday and I can tell you and is a much more peaceful way of handling anything. God’s shoulders are so much stronger than mine.
Two hurts don’t make a right. Even if you react on something that didn’t hurt you, but in some way it bothered you, the other person ending up hurt is not how we as Christian are supposed to handle these things. There is just too much hurt in this world to keep a circle of constant hurt going on.
And, this my dear friends sums up my nearly three-month absence from blogging. Besides the busyness of our real life, I just had enough of the online gossip chain and needed some time away.
If we are reacting in this way online, how are we treating our own families? Are we short-tempered and in-compassionate with them? What are we teaching our children?
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mother, christian, wife, woman, child of God. It is about my life as a farmer’s wife, as a cook, a baker, a nurse, a teacher, a woodworker, a housekeeper, a farmer (yep, I drive tractors, pick up hay bales, and other farm duties), a gardener. So, what you read here, is me, as a transparent sometimes hot headed, passionate, and opinionated person.
